Also, a meeting between friends is just as important if not more important as a meeting at work. I've cut all ties with her. There's no clear answer to that. And we're still hanging out. On Thursday they could care less about it. However,after returning home from our school,she disappear and never contact me. It's just too bad that they you're having to rely on them for crew.
It was Friday night and she claimed that her cleaning ladies came at 7:30 pm unexpectaedly. So next time I will invite her again but if she cancel it,I can do something else. It's something everyone has to judge for themselves. They showed me that I was disposable and unimportant to them. Thanks for the quick advice, guys. Your boyfriend is being selffish by not seeing you and wanting to spend time with you.
There are reasons people may need to cancel and we can all be understanding to those specific situations yet, it's up to the individual what justifies a forgiving of devaluing. Now I just have to tell myself that all the time and hope that I'll believe that. Why ask to see me, then cancel? A person who cannot keep words times and again and fails to meet the commitment not only has weakness of character but also a disgrace in the name of friendship--because she does not value your sentiments and does not respect your decisions. Don't make anymore regards towards hanging out until after Thanksgiving. It's not pleasant and I haven't been able to pull myself together for long enough to get over the initial panic of having to leave my home. On one level the tradeoff may be worth it.
But remember, don't go overboard with the apology. Making a plan and sticking to it is a lost art. Because, yes, their unreliability sounds excessive and canceling because something better came along is as rude as it gets. Part of me wants to not respond to their text next time. You can try talking to them about it, you could cut them out of your life, or you can downgrade them, like to someone you'll happily catch up with if someone else invites them to a group event, but who you'll stop actively trying to make plans with. Depression Similar to anxiety, someone who's may make a plan, but on the day it's happening feel too sad, grouchy, apathetic, pessimistic, fatigued, or insecure to go. I was supposed to sleep over at his place this weekend, but he just cancelled on me today I don't know the reason yet.
She cancelled that one too! I'd just stop inviting her to do things, go places with you and stop accepting invites from her. I do it all the way and I wonder why I dont have friends. People need to grow up and behave in a respectful way to others. It's inconsiderate and pointless to even make plans in the first place. But doing just that is a symbol of emotional intimacy if you are trying to foster that with someone. It's your call whether you want to start with smaller, more low key, comments about their flakiness and work up to firmer ones if they don't change, or just dive in and be more direct. My mother has done this to me so many times that I started declining all offers.
Like, I would never expect anyone to set aside plans for me unless someone close to me needed to go to the hospital. But in all seriousness, honesty is the best policy. I had friend like that recently. Furthermore, technology is causing us to lose sight of the sacredness of our relationships. Some good excuses to use in a pinch? I can't even count how many times I do this.
So, with that said, let's get one thing clear: there's a major difference between bailing on an event here and there and bailing on the same person continuously. Tell her that you're a busy person yourself and don't appreciate being jerked around. Does anyone else do this or have any other idea as to why she does this. I've gotten better at it by trying to put things into perspective. Ive done that a lot last 2 years sadly - putting off till had to take it. Canceling 30 minutes before the date? The excuses they gave were unbelievably rude.
However, it may be worth asking if it's really so important that the one person be there for everyone to have a good time. I have a sailboat and require crew. But not getting overly mad about it doesn't mean you just happily accept it all either. She works hard and volunteers alot. It is a question of integrity and respect.
Especially for someone just coming out of a 5yr relationship. I have one friend that is so bad about it, whenever we make plans, I just assume it's not happening. How can I limit this behavior short of never making plans in advance again? If you make the plans and want people to show up, there's no way you can back out last minute. The only problem is that he bails on our plans all the time, and it's getting frustrating. The real reason people get peed off us because it impacts your ego. If she makes plans, she needs to follow through, otherwise, you're outta here! Similarly, I have a handful of friends with whom I make dinner plans so far in advance that we have a mutual understanding making it easy and unemotional if one of us has to cancel because family came in town or a birthday or bar mitzvah invitation arrived that would be strange to skip for a dinner out with friends we can see another time.
It is getting very tiresome and even though she is a really good friend, I do not feel like making or accepting plans with her anymore. I told her that it really annoyed me that she would cancel at the last minute and that I would appreciate it if she would give me more notice and not a lame excuse like being too tired. I hope I am not a back up friend. I will make plans with friends to go to a party. I'll just stop asking out.